Jilara (jilara) wrote,
Jilara
jilara

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Starting to get tired

Okay, I still have to make it through Memorial Day. I can do this. (My mantra when I get to a point where I start drawing on reserves is "I can do this." Repeat as needed)

Lessee, almost two weeks ago, I did a weekend of being 1st Sgt. for my Civil War unit, which was a lot like being back being Jilara the Lord Constable in SCA, including late night watches (and finding folks for same), and being in constant motion. And getting rained on. Hard. Then, while providing moral support for various friends who are having crises, we start prep work for the Petaluma Adobe living history. I get a crisis call from Troy, my fellow coordinator, with a major family medical crisis, who says if he can't make it, I might have to take over. He fortunately makes it for Saturday, but I had to do a few things on my own. Good, because it was a bigger turnout than we were expecting. Then I have my brother and his wife on Sunday, and they park their trailer in my drive. I also get a crisis call from my friend with terminal cancer, and spend an hour letting her get it out of her system. I start coordinating the countdown for Dana Adobe, and working on the next Civil War event, arranging food and trying to coordinate with Bob in El Centro for his coming to the event. I spent Monday evening on the phone. Fortunately, I got an evening with J. on Tuesday, watching anime together and what, which allowed a little recreation.

But things are going wingie. Last night before going to dinner with my "adopted family" the Bruners, taking along my real family (brother and his wife), I had to call Bob. He's throwing monkey wrenches in, now that I've arranged crash space for him, and is wanting me to go off and spend Saturday night at a motel with him. This is an occasional long-distance relationship, and I DON'T WANT TO DO RELATIONSHIP MAINTENANCE RIGHT NOW, DAMMIT. I want to be able to just relax and hang out with my friends, once we're away from the event. I was looking forward to this part. I want to just spend some quality time with good people. I put him off until we talk tonight, and I just know he's going to get grinchy if I say "no."

On the other front, I'm trying to set up for unit stuff the Memorial Day Civil War event. I still have to call one of our members tonight to talk about breakfast and if he can take over dealing with the morons on the Admin Board who have started putting us through hoops and backflips to get powder reembursement. This all evolved yesterday when one of our officers *resigned* because of one person in particular, who seems to get her jollies out of jacking over the artillery on various fronts. So guess whose lap this dropped into. Heh. I cut my teeth on SCA politicos. Becky is annoying, but she's still not in their league. Or of a former politicker in the club whom I dueled with ten years ago, who swore to me he would have our unit disbanded. (Funny, he's gone, but we're still here.) But I am very not amused. And I'm trying to deal with the getting meals set up for the event, and putting together a duty roster, checking on who's coming and what size tent they will have, plus figuring out how to work around that our powder hasn't arrived yet. But hey, I've got almost a week.

So tonight, I get to call on some of that. Plus I have to figure out if I'm going to hang out with everyone at Russ' place as in the first plan and deal with Bob being all hurt, or bite the bullet and do nicey relationship stuff when I'm not in the right mind-state. (I pretty much already know the answer. Let's be honest. Faking being lovey when you really would rather be doing something else is counterproductive.) Oh, and I got home last night to an answering machine message from Deb (terminal cancer friend), that asked if I could please call her. Hokay, this is going to be one of those nights. And I'm putting together the food prep for the Dana Adobe event tonight, on top of it. Originally, tonight's plan was to tag along with my brother to visit with my niece and great-nephew, but that was fortunately rearranged at the last minute because they had things come up. Which is good, because I really need every minute, tonight. Fortunately, Shula is out of state dealing with her family crisis, so she won't be calling for moral support for about a week.

I can do this. I will survive through Memorial Day. I still don't know if I will make an old boyfriend's wedding to his current boyfriend, the next weekend. It's in Southern California, and might be just too much. I love him dearly, but it's still 400 miles each way. And sanity is to be cultivated.
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