Jilara (jilara) wrote,

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When I go...

...I want a wake, not a memorial service. I think it says something that it was in a Catholic Church, with the full black-draped lenten decor, and burning frankinsence. It was like Lia wasn't really part of her own memorial, except for the great poem about her read by her boss at the furnace repair company. It was---terribly generic. It was interesting, also, in that afterward a lot of folks broke up to go to dinner. A large contingent were going to Skates on the Bay. I said "Great choice, Lia and I used to go there a lot. Good food and a great place to people-watch!" They looked blank. Lia went there? (Sigh.) Yeah, bunch of Yankees, of course...

So the bunch of us who knew her from waaaay back ended up at Denny's in Emeryville, where we talked about the old days. We agreed we needed to have a wake at some point. A real wake. Or we'd never get a sense of closure. We know the church thing was what her husband wanted, but it just wasn't *her* in a lot of ways.

Me, I want folks hoisting libations in my honor, Celtic music, "Star of Wexford" expecially, and maybe some morbid victorian stuff because I like it. And people telling *stories.* I want to be *remembered,* not memorialized, and there's a big difference.

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