Jilara (jilara) wrote,

  • Mood:

Crying is good for the soul

I seem to be doing much better now, emotionally. I broke down and had a raging good cry on the way to driving to the dentist, this morning. You know, the kind where you get mad at the universe and your own ineffectualness, and how unfair life and the universe is. I think this was the biggest one I've allowed myself since driving home I found that poor dead woman who'd been hit on the freeway and was beyond anything I could do. Yeah, that was for my inability to revive a hit-and-run victim, and the circumstances that allowed it to happen, and this was for a huge disaster, but it was all the same emotional state.

I never cried over my mother's suicide, I never cried for 9/11. What determines when you can cry, and when you can't? I wish I knew. It was somehow worse, being the person who coped so well. I think I'll be able to sleep tonight. I hope so.

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