June 16th, 2006

Dancing Thru

Time to post...

I think my trip postings are going to end up being staggered over time. Who can find time to be online? I haven't stopped running since I got back, and every moment is a crisis here at work. I still haven't caught up with my back email...
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    drained overextended
Dancing Thru

Some days, you just end up caring...

I've been sort of trying to emotionally protect myself from the hooks of interpersonal relationships and their issues for a while. You know, the standard sorts of things, maintaining a realistic outlook on people's flaws, where you don't let people get too close, keep your more sensitive thoughts to yourself, don't take anything too seriously, be careful about showing vulnerabilities, trust no one, and generally try to keep a safe distance. Because that way you can avoid getting too close, get sucked into other people's issues, have them project stuff onto you, and ending up having to deal with a bunch of stress and worry, right? And won't cry when something happens to them.

Doesn't work, I've been realizing. Sooner or later, even when you try to keep a distance, somehow you end up caring about people. I try to rationalize that I can deal with people dying on me, having awful things happen to them, doing irresponsible things that make me want to hit my head against a wall, sucking me into their own personal stresses and pains, walking out of my life, etc...I am a rock, and a rock feels no pain, yadda yadda yadda... Dammit, I'm just a sucker. I care. No matter how hard I try to stay detached, I end up caring about people, worrying about people. Just one of my core personality traits. I even still care about my damned job, even though I have tried to adopt a devil-may-care "just give me the paycheck" attitude. I guess it's just part of my core personality, sigh...
  • Current Mood
    nostalgic introspective

Hawaii #1: Oahu continued...

Back cruising down through Waikiki, we hit up a shopping mall that looks like it came right out of Las Vegas, being amused because we think they even have the same building designer. It's sad when Hawaii looks like Vegas. Lots of shops selling overpriced trinkets, and one that sells Hawaiian food treats, which is tempting to me. I resist the chili macadamia nuts, for now. Back on the street again, I am handed a flier by one of the street solicitors who hand out promos and coupons. I look at it, and my face must have lit up. It was good for a substantial discount on shooting at the Hawaii/Waikiki Gun Club!

I think the guy knew he had a live one. Interestingly enough, he was a deaf-mute! He gave enough hand signs that gave me to understand that if I was interested, he would show me where the place was. Then he proceded to lead off down the street. Telling Chris I was going shooting, I followed, and was amused that he'd periodically "talk" to me about how much fun I was going to have, including trying to interest me in the automatic weapons menu, rather like interacting with Harpo Marx (except I understood occasional ASL). (His mimicking machine guns was hysterical!) He led me upstairs to the shooting range, and signed to the counter guy that he had an interested customer, then smiled and nodded and went back to the street.

They seemed rather nonplussed that it was ME, not Chris, who was interested in shooting. I decided to fire the "police qualification course" menu, which involved a sweet S&W .38, a 357 auto, and a police-issue rifle (I forget which model, bad of me, I know). Essentially, the stuff you'd do to pass police qualification testing. Very reasonable pricing, with the coupon, considering all the ammo and gun rental for everything was included. The one thing that was a little unnerving was that the guns were *chained* in the booths, presumably so you couldn't suddenly sprint out of the place and start shooting up Waikiki, which I kind of understand. I found the chains annoying to work around, but hey, any time you're shooting guns in Hawaii is a good day. And after the first couple shots, I fell right into it. Good practice, since I haven't actually been out to the range for a couple years (ahem). Shot out a lot of the center of the target. They reeled in my target and the eyebrows of the range master went up. "You're VERY good!" "I'm out of practice." "Out of practice, you're VERY GOOD!" (Yes, I brought my target home.) I also commemorated shooting in Waikiki by getting a black Hawaii Gun Club "staff" shirt. After all, who else goes to Hawaii and target shoots at Waikiki? Well, I guess I do. (I also find cannon, but that's for later...)

Then it was off to a discount Hawaiian store, where I bought a new dress for $20, the only one in this fabric (navy blue with cream hibiscus) I saw in the time I was in the islands. I went upstairs and changed into my new dress for dinner, since my Fox-fibre organic cotton skirt and blouse were getting oppressively hot and humid to wear.
(to be continued, and I'm not even off Day 1, yet!)
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    cheerful cheerful