Jilara (jilara) wrote,

  • Mood:

Some days, you just end up caring...

I've been sort of trying to emotionally protect myself from the hooks of interpersonal relationships and their issues for a while. You know, the standard sorts of things, maintaining a realistic outlook on people's flaws, where you don't let people get too close, keep your more sensitive thoughts to yourself, don't take anything too seriously, be careful about showing vulnerabilities, trust no one, and generally try to keep a safe distance. Because that way you can avoid getting too close, get sucked into other people's issues, have them project stuff onto you, and ending up having to deal with a bunch of stress and worry, right? And won't cry when something happens to them.

Doesn't work, I've been realizing. Sooner or later, even when you try to keep a distance, somehow you end up caring about people. I try to rationalize that I can deal with people dying on me, having awful things happen to them, doing irresponsible things that make me want to hit my head against a wall, sucking me into their own personal stresses and pains, walking out of my life, etc...I am a rock, and a rock feels no pain, yadda yadda yadda... Dammit, I'm just a sucker. I care. No matter how hard I try to stay detached, I end up caring about people, worrying about people. Just one of my core personality traits. I even still care about my damned job, even though I have tried to adopt a devil-may-care "just give me the paycheck" attitude. I guess it's just part of my core personality, sigh...

  • Updates to Everything -- Busy, busy!

    Okay, it's been too long since I checked in, and now everything has changed on LiveJournal. Serves me right, I guess. Two jobs and my regular stream…

  • Finns and Discrimination in the 19th century

    I'd heard about the discrimination from older family members, when I was growing up. I'd heard about the slogans like "Never marry a Finn or a…

  • Health is Encouraging

    Good news.My rheumatoid syndrome seems to be responding nicely to the more body-friendly treatment (hydroxychloroquinine, plus fish oil,…

  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened