Jilara (jilara) wrote,

  • Mood:

Complex thoughts

I am stumbling around in my mind today, with a crowd of thoughts I haven't really sorted out. Why does the image of a tower collapsing keep superimposing itself onto the image of the Challenger exploding?
Tarot Card: The Tower - pick your favorite deck

Life as We Know It is coming to and end: who do you call? My late best friend, who worked at Fort Lewis, called me from work. "Turn on the TV, NOW. Don't ask questions. Just DO IT." I then called another friend, went over to be with him and his then girlfriend. You don't stay by yourself when the World is ending.

I felt True Fear for the first time, in those next few days. The kind of fear you can taste, that crawls on your skin, that makes you jump at shadows. Not of terrorists. No, I was afraid of Vigilantes, people who would decide I wasn't Patriotic Enough, wasn't flying the flag, etc. and would kill me for it, no questions asked. In short, I was afraid of My Fellow Americans. And realized I would stand for the original ideas and the ideal, not how they might be turned. And in that moment, I knew I was closer to Ito Ogami, who became ronin in order to be a true samurai.

There is a piece of Tolkien's poetry from Lord of the Rings that keeps going through my head, today. It can be interpreted however you like:

Gil-galad was an elven king

Of him the harpers sadly sing,

The last whose realm was proud and free

Between the mountains and the sea...


But long ago he went away

And where he dwelleth none can say,

For into Darkness fell his star

In Mordor, where the shadows are.

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