Jilara (jilara) wrote,

  • Mood:


Old issues are rising out of their autumnal graves and coming back to haunt me. I feel like I'm caught in a temporal loop, where I had thought I put things behind me years ago, but now I'm finding that they rise like Christopher Lee's Dracula, gotten rid of supposedly again and again, only to rise again for yet another sequel. It's disheartening. It also seems to be linked to the fact that most of the major traumas in my life happened in October. I'm actually amazed at how many there are.

I was out reading Callahans archives from waaaay back, today. I'm finding a need to reconnect and understand some old stuff. My 1989 sorta nervous breakdown technically didn't happen until November, but the Loma Prieta quake is a kind of bookmark in an overall progression. More stuff over the fall, in years after. Hmm, it's all a continuum. I've really gotta finish processing this...

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