Jilara (jilara) wrote,

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Ironies of Time

The great irony of LiveJournal is that now that I have been laid off, I don't seem to have as much time for it as I used to. At work, I would take a "mental break" from the grind and go read LJ for a few, until I felt up to coping with complex technical concepts again. Now, I'm too busy with...well, life, to get on this on a regular basis.

My computer time seems eaten up with tasks such as online forms, managing accounts, etc. The vaguries of everything one has to do when one no longer has a job, and there are tasks to be managed. I'm also expecting that the Unemployment folks will be saying I filled out the form wrong, since it obviously wasn't designed for someone just terminated after 8+ years with one company. And how do I even guestimate how much I made in the last 18 months? I don't have access to my online W2 forms any more, and my pay has changed. I sat down with last year's 1040 form and some calculations for this year, but whew... And how about that vacation pay? There's no way to say "I'm not sure how the company is calculating this right now, so I don't know how much I will receive in my final paperwork." I guesstimated 2 weeks, but the real answer is "damned if I know."

I'm thankful to have the house to myself now and then. Because if Andrew is around, I seem to get very little done. I'm too busy enjoying being around him, and the end result is at the end of the day, I start feeling a little crazy. I NEED some structure in my life. Sitting debating the evolution of 19th century religious thought, or discussing desert ecosystems for hours is great geek brain stimulation, but the books don't get written, I don't catch up on some tech skills I need to refresh, and the laundry doesn't get done.

On the other hand, I've been baking a lot of bread, something I didn't have time for, mostly, back when I was working. I love baking bread. Hand made, experimenting with new recipes, using my home-caught starter, that I jokingly call "San Jose Sourdough." This stuff is a WINNER! Makes some of the tastiest bread I've had in a long time. And I've also been doing some real cooking, more than I usually do, and I'm not exactly a convenience-food person even in normal life. I've been doing popovers regularily, too. So one major aspect of who I am, the cook, is getting indulged.

Now to get down to working on the books...

I might be having a long haul, if the tech world is having such a dismal time as it looks like, by the continuing stories in the newspaper. Heck, everyone is having a bad time. But this is looking to be a long drought, the way it's shaping up. That personal writing of mine might be what ends up being my bread and butter, ultimately.

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