Jilara (jilara) wrote,

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So that's why...fun writing gets de-prioritzed

I've finally cracked why I tend to disempower myself when I want to write. I get fired up and inspired, but then I completely come down on myself and keep myself from doing it. Everything else is more important.

It's because it's decadent. If I weren't making money from tech writing, I probably wouldn't be able to justify even that. It's the voice of my mother talking about how I was avoiding responsibility and hiding from real life. It's about indulging myself. It's about how I don't deserve such fun. In our society, imagination is discouraged, as in "out of touch with reality..."

I've been down this road before, I've realized. It's the contrast of the scientist and the mystic. It's okay to tech write, not so much to write for fun, or be creative. The first step is recognizing the problem.

So, I've got a new gig. I'm being paid to do fun articles for an SEO writing gig. It's already got me fired up, and I've only done my first article: "Kabul, Afghanistan, Where the Golf Greens are Black and the Sand Traps Have Bombs!" Yes, the topic is golf.

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