Jilara (jilara) wrote,

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How NOT to market yourself

While checking for writing jobs online, I come across profiles of people who are looking for work as writers. Some of these folks don't seem to have a clue as to what a resume or online profile is supposed to do. Others, well... their copy speaks for itself. Here are a few sigh-worthy examples:

How would you like to send work back and forth because of poor quality? How would you like to commission another writer to redo work you have already paid? (Somehow, I don't think that this was meant how it comes across!)

Hi, I am a Student. and I always like to browse Internet. Now I am so Confident to earn Money from Internet. (Obvious non-native English. And browsing the Internet qualifies him how? He also lists his experience designing his business cards and playing sports under his "Experience.")

I have always had a passion for writing. This made me the best student in my school both in High school and College as far as writing was concerned. I have never done this for money but since i have internet full time and a lot of spare time, i bet its time i did something i loved and got paid for it. (Good for you. Now, tell me what you can do for me that would make me pay you.)

If I attain the position in your company then I will gave my 100% experience as well as my qualities to achieve goals of the company. I had an opportunity to gain practical experience with copy writing, web researching and data entry works. I have the same work experienced as this job in which I believe that I would be a great help to your company. (Now, would you brush up on your English skills?)

- fresh graduate of BS Psychology.
- currently writing a reality-based book on how things, events, emotions, and the like are perceived by a 20 year old. (Based on her journal?)
- selected as a candidate for best thesis entitled "The Social Attributions in relation to the Life Satisfaction of St. Thomas Aquinas Scholars" upon graduation. (That's going to translate into the business world really well...)
- planning to earn enough income to attend to seminars and workshops to improve credentials.
(The last one is a noble goal; she's going to need it.)

To find work in any area that is suitable to my skills. I am very determined and motivated. I enjoy a challenge. If I do not know the answer, I will find a solution. I take my work seriously and am sure to meet all deadlines. (Translates to "unemployed"? Her skills include Windows XP, customer service, certificates in phone and email etiquette. Her portfolio piece is her high school yearbook. I feel for her, but there is an aura of desperation here.)

Wann earn some money working as a freelancer.I am experinced in copy writing,web designing & i wanna utilize this skill. (Words fail me on this one. And his self-assessed English skills are 5 out of 5!)

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