Jilara (jilara) wrote,

Treating the Country as if it REALLY WAS a Business

Yes, my warped little mind has made a connection. I hear the comments about the "best politicians money can buy" and whatnot. And suddenly, I had a realization, like that Johnathon Swift must have had about Ireland. I have found the root of our political problems: we are not making good business decisions because we are not paying our politicians enough!

Now hear me out. The problem with the public sector, as opposed to private industry, is that it simply can't compete. The average CEO of a Fortune 500 company makes $12-13 MILLION PER YEAR! Even the President makes a paltry $450K. You just can't attract the best talent with a record like that! Isn't America entitled to at least the same entitled leadership as a major corporation?

Think about it. If we paid competitively, these people might actually become responsive to their shareholders, a.k.a. their constituents, instead of being swayed by big bucks from special interests. Does the CEO of Exxon jump to the demands of Chevron, on being offered donations to the fund of choice? Well, aside from untraceable accounts in the Cayman Islands, that is. No, they are expected to look out for the needs of their shareholders.

So, here we are with bargain-basement Executive Staff, running a first-rate country. What's more, some of these losers even spend their own money in trying to get elected! How pathetic is that? I mean, for what Meg Whitman spent on running for Governor of California, she could have bought a small Grand Dutchy and made herself Supreme Baroness or something. She might have made a bundle as a CEO, but she sure fell down on this one.

So, what would we get if we made this country run more like a business? Well, there would be a lot of cost-benefit analysis, and maybe they could figure some great write-offs for infrastructure. They'd drive hard bargains to get the lowest possible price for things like Pentagon expenditures. "What, $100,000 each for these missiles? We can open a factory get those made in Moldova for $40 apiece! We just might have to offshore this whole effort!" You can bet your bottom dollar that there would be no more $1000 coffee makers!

We might not even need those missiles. Strategic acquisition is part of any corporate strategy. Problem with North Korea? Buy it! Rather than wasting a few billion on conventional warfare, just offer to buy the entire place. You'd be surprised what third-world dictators might do, offered the right financial incentive. Win the hearts of the people by flying over dropping dollar bills, instead of bombs, at great cost-savings! And once have acquired a new territory, just incorporate it in and put its industries and citizens to work for you, generating tax dollars. Long-term return on investment! If it doesn't work out, you can sell it to someone else, or spin it off as a subsidiary (call it "granting independence") but keep a seat on the Governing Board.

You know, this just might work...

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