My nightmares lately have not been good. A couple weeks ago, I dreamed I was being held captive by a serial killer who was ritually cutting off body parts, which I was saving on the offchance I would survive and they could reattach them.
A couple nights ago, I was Ted Bundy's kid sister. I had figured out he was killing people, and was playing like everything was normal, because I didn't know if he'd kill me, too, if he knew that I knew.
Last night, however, was the most deeply disturbing. I am standing on a street in Willow Glen, and a bomb goes off. Very realistically. You feel it like a punch, that first sucks the air out of your lungs, then squeezes you in a huge fist, stinging every inch of your skin as if tiny particles of sand were embedding themselves into your dermis. Hard to describe the pain...close to being struck with a lash, if you could be struck on every part of your body at once. And I started running, not even looking back, just running down the street away, wondering if it was a suicide bomber or a car bomb, and if there were more of them. This last I found even more disturbing, on waking, because I normally don't behave like that. I normally stay and survey the scene, looking to help, assess hazards, etc. But this was pure survival stuff, at a basal level. In my dream, I am still running, two blocks away, when I see a cop car speeding down the street, going in the direction I came from. I reflect that it's his job, not mine. That's when I wonder if I have any injuries, which I hadn't thought about before. I notice small amounts of blood on my hands and arms, but figure it's not mine, or there would be more of it. I notice I can't feel any pain, only numbness and a stinging sensation all over, and adrenoline pumping through my body. I'm still running. That's when I woke up.
Another weird thing about how calmly logical I am in these, on a weird level. Save the body parts. Figure how to survive. See if it's your own blood. Horrible stuff, but in my dream state, I seem to be coping. Can I go back to nightmares of being chased by rotting zombies, or trying to outrun tsunamis, like when I was a kid? I don't like this most recent batch of dreams, at all.