"So you got the disability forms, but now you're wondering about applying? Why? You were on disability before you went back to school, and you still can't find a job because the economy sucks. I'd re-apply."
"But what if they turn me down?"
"And exactly how would this somehow be worse than where you are right now?"
"They'll think I'm a hypochondriac who's faking it!"
"And are you?"
"NO! But they'll think I am and turn me down!"
"And I repeat, exactly how is this worse than your fear of ending up living under a bridge in a few months?"
"So Mom calls and says "Oh, you should have been at x_family_friend's memorial service. It was so lovely." And I said "Wait a minute, x_family_friend died?! Why didn't you tell me? She was like an aunt to me! I would have wanted to go!" "Dear, you just wouldn't have fitted in. They were all country club people. You wouldn't want to embarrass them, would you?" " (Like there is a class distinction issue with funerals, and her Mom's implication being that my friend is white trash or something...)
"So you want me to pick you up some MREs? Hey, I've got some in the disaster preparedness section of my basement that are even kosher." (My friend is kosher.)
"No, you'll need them in case we have to deal with everything going weird with the terrorists."
"Trust me, I have enough food to feed all my friends for a month."
"I don't know, what if the terrorists set off an e-bomb, and all our technology fries, and you have to take care of everyone? That's why I'm not getting a crockpot. I don't want to become dependant on cooking skills that involve electricity."
"You use a stove," I point out. "Yes, that's why I want MREs, so I won't be dependant on it."
"Look, I cook for the 1840's lifestyle at least once a month, and know how to manage a fire, but I still use my mixer and my crockpot!"
"Hmm, you do have a point..."
"I have a message from Cernunos that we need to discuss..." (Left on my machine, and I'm ignoring it for now.)
Yes, I have such interesting friends (and their families)... (It may not sound like it, but the majority of them really are normal, and are simply dealing with things like ill parents or work or whatever. But these entries show some of the other stuff...)